すべてを捨てた
過去を忘れ
未来を向かって頑張りたい
その以前の僕は死んだ
もう二度この悲しいところに戻ってこない
僕は良い人じゃない、もう僕を探さないで下さい
今までの出会いは無にしてください
僕見たいの人間無存在にしてください
こうしてもっと気が楽になるから
これで最後の書き込み
歩く道はすれ違う
僕らはもう二度会わない道を選びますから
サヨナラ
そして、ごめんね
許さなくて良い
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
ただいま、マレーシア
おはよう！
このメールを書くとき
僕もうマレーシアに着いたよ
僕は泣かない、いい子だったら、タカきっと僕のことを好きになる、どうしてもそう考えてしまう
実は、マレーシアから出たときから、僕もう帰る場所がない、ホームレースになった。
その僕にとって、家族はタカです
タカいつも暗くて、おとなしくて、私にできる唯一のことが、あなたを笑わせること。
タカが喜んでくれたか、わかりません、でも私にできることはそれしかありません
だから今からも私は笑わせよ続けたいと思います。
まず、タカから、友達、家族、先生たち、そしてまだ知らないの皆さんを、笑わせよ
これは私唯一で切るの恩返しです、みんなさん、ありがとう
タカ、また会えたときに、喋ること一杯あるように、いつまでも話が尽きないように、僕はいろんなことを経験起きます
昔のように、やさしく聞いてください、そして、笑ってください
日本へ帰ることが難しい、外国人の私にとって、とても難しいことです
多分、今から、５年間、１０年間、会えないかもしれない、だけど、きっとある日に、会えるよ。
その間はつらいだけど、私はがんばります、一杯成長します、また会うとき、あなたに頼れる人になりたい。
マレーシアに帰って、家族とあって、家に帰りました。
ここの気温が涼しい、着いたときに２５度だった、今朝は１５度だった
マレーシアの空は日本より低く見える
風のにおいが懐かしい
だけど、私はなんかこの所は慣れてない
まず、
トイレへ行く時、そこで働いてるのお婆ちゃんは挨拶もしない
店員たちは、働いてるながら、ガムを食べてる、やる気がないみたい
道が自動車が多い、たぶんここで自転車を乗ると、すぐ事故する
お母さんやお姉ちゃんが、うるさくて、よく私の肌を触る、なんか気持ち悪い
弟からキスーされて、びっくりしました
一緒にホテルで食べに行ったけど、
マレーシアのご飯はおいしくなかった、慣れてなかった
お母さんはいっぱい買って、明日の分（ご飯と鶏肉八人分）も買った、以外にと安かった
でも、びっくりしました、日本にはあまり外で食べないから
人を込んでる街に、ゴミ一杯たまってる、
人たちはどこへ急いでいる、自分のことだけ考えばかり、周りの人を無視してる
おばあちゃんと中国語でしゃべるとき、いつも日本語に戻ってしまう
お姉ちゃんの性格悪い、いつも悪いことを言う、すごくきにしてる
お母さんは、声が大きくて、普通に話すでも怒ってるなように見える、ぜんぜん女と見えない
多分これはマレーシアの文化かな？受けて入れたいけど、難しい
日本とはまったく違う
私は確かに、おとなしくなった、どうしたのと聞かれたとき、
私にできることがただ笑顔をするだけ
今朝の朝ごはんは、パンだった
だけど、なんかおいしくない
日本のご飯が、やっぱりおいしいね
一緒に弁当を食べるとき、やっぱりおいしいね
一緒にいるとき、やっぱり、楽しいね
マレーシアは、私は出たときから、変わった
だって、日本には、私自分の心理も変わったから
ごめんね、メールが長くて
あなたはどう？元気？
学校はどう？
ちゃんと勉強してる？
漢字テストはどうだった？
あなたは一杯話せる、いつも明るいと願っています
ただいま、マレーシア、さよなら、日本
ｐｓ：あなたも、本当の自分、本当の真をさがして、しっかり、愛を見つけてね？頑張りましょう！
今返事しなくてもいいから、家に帰ったら、返事してね
今日の一日はどう過ごしたのは、そのとき言えるからね。
さって、私も今から忙しい日を始まるぞう～
いってきます
From 大好きのエイクさま。
このメールを書くとき
僕もうマレーシアに着いたよ
僕は泣かない、いい子だったら、タカきっと僕のことを好きになる、どうしてもそう考えてしまう
実は、マレーシアから出たときから、僕もう帰る場所がない、ホームレースになった。
その僕にとって、家族はタカです
タカいつも暗くて、おとなしくて、私にできる唯一のことが、あなたを笑わせること。
タカが喜んでくれたか、わかりません、でも私にできることはそれしかありません
だから今からも私は笑わせよ続けたいと思います。
まず、タカから、友達、家族、先生たち、そしてまだ知らないの皆さんを、笑わせよ
これは私唯一で切るの恩返しです、みんなさん、ありがとう
タカ、また会えたときに、喋ること一杯あるように、いつまでも話が尽きないように、僕はいろんなことを経験起きます
昔のように、やさしく聞いてください、そして、笑ってください
日本へ帰ることが難しい、外国人の私にとって、とても難しいことです
多分、今から、５年間、１０年間、会えないかもしれない、だけど、きっとある日に、会えるよ。
その間はつらいだけど、私はがんばります、一杯成長します、また会うとき、あなたに頼れる人になりたい。
マレーシアに帰って、家族とあって、家に帰りました。
ここの気温が涼しい、着いたときに２５度だった、今朝は１５度だった
マレーシアの空は日本より低く見える
風のにおいが懐かしい
だけど、私はなんかこの所は慣れてない
まず、
トイレへ行く時、そこで働いてるのお婆ちゃんは挨拶もしない
店員たちは、働いてるながら、ガムを食べてる、やる気がないみたい
道が自動車が多い、たぶんここで自転車を乗ると、すぐ事故する
お母さんやお姉ちゃんが、うるさくて、よく私の肌を触る、なんか気持ち悪い
弟からキスーされて、びっくりしました
一緒にホテルで食べに行ったけど、
マレーシアのご飯はおいしくなかった、慣れてなかった
お母さんはいっぱい買って、明日の分（ご飯と鶏肉八人分）も買った、以外にと安かった
でも、びっくりしました、日本にはあまり外で食べないから
人を込んでる街に、ゴミ一杯たまってる、
人たちはどこへ急いでいる、自分のことだけ考えばかり、周りの人を無視してる
おばあちゃんと中国語でしゃべるとき、いつも日本語に戻ってしまう
お姉ちゃんの性格悪い、いつも悪いことを言う、すごくきにしてる
お母さんは、声が大きくて、普通に話すでも怒ってるなように見える、ぜんぜん女と見えない
多分これはマレーシアの文化かな？受けて入れたいけど、難しい
日本とはまったく違う
私は確かに、おとなしくなった、どうしたのと聞かれたとき、
私にできることがただ笑顔をするだけ
今朝の朝ごはんは、パンだった
だけど、なんかおいしくない
日本のご飯が、やっぱりおいしいね
一緒に弁当を食べるとき、やっぱりおいしいね
一緒にいるとき、やっぱり、楽しいね
マレーシアは、私は出たときから、変わった
だって、日本には、私自分の心理も変わったから
ごめんね、メールが長くて
あなたはどう？元気？
学校はどう？
ちゃんと勉強してる？
漢字テストはどうだった？
あなたは一杯話せる、いつも明るいと願っています
ただいま、マレーシア、さよなら、日本
ｐｓ：あなたも、本当の自分、本当の真をさがして、しっかり、愛を見つけてね？頑張りましょう！
今返事しなくてもいいから、家に帰ったら、返事してね
今日の一日はどう過ごしたのは、そのとき言えるからね。
さって、私も今から忙しい日を始まるぞう～
いってきます
From 大好きのエイクさま。
Sunday, October 5, 2008
October update
Lately life has been very busy here, I am sorry for not updating for almost half a month,becomign so lazy to update..do not online often lately, i want to spend my remaining time here doing more meaningful things,rather than sit in front of computer and waste my time..
As its getting colder,i am getting more afraid,because i know the time for me to stay here is getting lesser by days that is why every minute is getting important for me. I really like this place,so attached to this place that i dont want to go back.
last friday was very hectic,i had sports day in school,i ran,and i won number 2! YAY! o(^.^)o
after sports day,at night,i went to kendo practice
and the next morning,on saturday,i have to wake up at 430am,because we are going to hida,for kendo practice with other school.
from morning to night,i have been training kendo on saturday.
today is sunday,and i felt like i caught a cold,not feeling very well..
tomorrow have kanji test,i have to study for now haha
is been busy here,but is better than being too free
at least i have something to do and life is becoming meaningful.
i have so much more to say ,yet duno how should i write it out :(
soon i will be having my kendo dankyuu examination and nihongo kentei examination.
bunka sai (cultural day) is coming up too,my class are doing drama,and i am playing the role as a (kiji) in momotarou.
everyone is fine here,ototo-chan just finished his exam,while oniichan is very busy with his robot-competition.
dad and mom is getting very busy as autumn is coming.
also,lately is getting cold here, my skin dry very fast,everybody use moisturizing cream on their hand,and lips ,and also face...
i do not want to spend money on buying those things,but my skin is getting so dry,and lips too,sometime it crack and very painful...
AFS ask us to post back those clothes we use during summer because it is not needed for winter,to lighten our burden when we go back,since we only can carry 20kg things on plane.
lately,for examination,i have to pay myself for books ,and examination fees,it was quite expensive,i feel very heartpain to spend money..
last week,on the way to school,i got bang by a car,and sent to hospital,my knee was badly injured,and i was so afraid that i wont be able to participate in kendo exam since i trained so hard for it...luckily is healing fast.i had to make police report and etc,so troublesome...
and now,i caught cold,maybe because of all the busy-ness and over-doing of sports,my body is reaching the limit (gen kai)
anyway,
next time if anyone want to talk to me,just send me an email.
i will be able to reply when i online though..
from now on i might just update this blog once a month...
As its getting colder,i am getting more afraid,because i know the time for me to stay here is getting lesser by days that is why every minute is getting important for me. I really like this place,so attached to this place that i dont want to go back.
last friday was very hectic,i had sports day in school,i ran,and i won number 2! YAY! o(^.^)o
after sports day,at night,i went to kendo practice
and the next morning,on saturday,i have to wake up at 430am,because we are going to hida,for kendo practice with other school.
from morning to night,i have been training kendo on saturday.
today is sunday,and i felt like i caught a cold,not feeling very well..
tomorrow have kanji test,i have to study for now haha
is been busy here,but is better than being too free
at least i have something to do and life is becoming meaningful.
i have so much more to say ,yet duno how should i write it out :(
soon i will be having my kendo dankyuu examination and nihongo kentei examination.
bunka sai (cultural day) is coming up too,my class are doing drama,and i am playing the role as a (kiji) in momotarou.
everyone is fine here,ototo-chan just finished his exam,while oniichan is very busy with his robot-competition.
dad and mom is getting very busy as autumn is coming.
also,lately is getting cold here, my skin dry very fast,everybody use moisturizing cream on their hand,and lips ,and also face...
i do not want to spend money on buying those things,but my skin is getting so dry,and lips too,sometime it crack and very painful...
AFS ask us to post back those clothes we use during summer because it is not needed for winter,to lighten our burden when we go back,since we only can carry 20kg things on plane.
lately,for examination,i have to pay myself for books ,and examination fees,it was quite expensive,i feel very heartpain to spend money..
last week,on the way to school,i got bang by a car,and sent to hospital,my knee was badly injured,and i was so afraid that i wont be able to participate in kendo exam since i trained so hard for it...luckily is healing fast.i had to make police report and etc,so troublesome...
and now,i caught cold,maybe because of all the busy-ness and over-doing of sports,my body is reaching the limit (gen kai)
anyway,
next time if anyone want to talk to me,just send me an email.
i will be able to reply when i online though..
from now on i might just update this blog once a month...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tasha
Thanks to Tasha,i have extra homework to do haha :S
Starting time : 20:19
Name : Geoffrey
Sisters : 2
Brothers : 4
Shoe size : 26cm
Height : 170cm maybe?
Where do you live : Gifu ,motosu shi
Have you ever Been on a plane : of cos
Swam in the ocean : never,gosh i am such a sad person
Fallen asleep at school : all the time
Broken someone’s heart : maybe yes.. :X
Fell off your chair : Never haha!
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yes
Saved e-mails : yes
What is your room like : always messy
What’s right beside you : my room
What is the last thing you ate : Tempura!
Ever had Chicken pox : yeah.
Sore throat :Who hasn't?
Stitches : never
Broken nose : Never
Do you Believe in love at first sight : yes..lol
Like picnics : never been to picnic before,let's have it together 1 day
Who was were the last person You danced with : Derrick-.-
Last made you smile : Wakasa-kun?
You last yelled at : Hurm...not much of a yeller.
Today did you Talk to someone you like : Yeah :D a lot..but we had a bad time today.
Kissed anyone : yes,miss it
Get sick : Duh?
Talk to an ex : 3 weeks ago
Miss someone : Frens :D
Who do you really hate: Yasue Yuuki and his gang
Do you like your hand-writing : sometime,when i concentrate
Are your toe nails painted : Nope.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : none,i love my bed.
What color shirt are you wearing now : reebok white t-shirt
Are you a friendly person : over friendly which is bad
Do you have any pets : Had,my dog ran away lol,maybe my fish is all dead by now-.-
Do you sleep with the TV on : i seldom watch TV since 3 years ago..
What are you doing right now : Doing my homework
Can you handle the truth : wat is the truth?
Are you closer to your mother or father : mother maybe...
Do you eat healthy : Always wanted to,but phailed
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : yeah -.-
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : maybe yui,or kar mun,or yeang shin? ah,seh yung and theo too maybe..
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : overloud
Are you confident : not at all
5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1) sleep
2) eat
3) go to primary school?
4) work in pasar malam
5) Being a kid:).
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1) Plastic Surgery XD
2) Do my own album
3) Buy a house and car
4) Donate to help out the poors one
5) Stay in japan forever
5 of my bad habits
1) Lazy
2) Easily addicted to things;P.
3) not good in handling human feelings
4) Leaving things till the last minute.
5) always bad in consulting ppl
5 places I am living in
1) Malaysia
2) PetalingJAya
3) Shah Alam,with Matthew
4) Japan
5) motoso-shi
ohh finalyl end -.-haha
5 people I tag
1.Kar mun
2.Yeang shin
3.Yui
4.Woon Jie
5.boon lye
Starting time : 20:19
Name : Geoffrey
Sisters : 2
Brothers : 4
Shoe size : 26cm
Height : 170cm maybe?
Where do you live : Gifu ,motosu shi
Have you ever Been on a plane : of cos
Swam in the ocean : never,gosh i am such a sad person
Fallen asleep at school : all the time
Broken someone’s heart : maybe yes.. :X
Fell off your chair : Never haha!
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yes
Saved e-mails : yes
What is your room like : always messy
What’s right beside you : my room
What is the last thing you ate : Tempura!
Ever had Chicken pox : yeah.
Sore throat :Who hasn't?
Stitches : never
Broken nose : Never
Do you Believe in love at first sight : yes..lol
Like picnics : never been to picnic before,let's have it together 1 day
Who was were the last person You danced with : Derrick-.-
Last made you smile : Wakasa-kun?
You last yelled at : Hurm...not much of a yeller.
Today did you Talk to someone you like : Yeah :D a lot..but we had a bad time today.
Kissed anyone : yes,miss it
Get sick : Duh?
Talk to an ex : 3 weeks ago
Miss someone : Frens :D
Who do you really hate: Yasue Yuuki and his gang
Do you like your hand-writing : sometime,when i concentrate
Are your toe nails painted : Nope.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : none,i love my bed.
What color shirt are you wearing now : reebok white t-shirt
Are you a friendly person : over friendly which is bad
Do you have any pets : Had,my dog ran away lol,maybe my fish is all dead by now-.-
Do you sleep with the TV on : i seldom watch TV since 3 years ago..
What are you doing right now : Doing my homework
Can you handle the truth : wat is the truth?
Are you closer to your mother or father : mother maybe...
Do you eat healthy : Always wanted to,but phailed
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : yeah -.-
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : maybe yui,or kar mun,or yeang shin? ah,seh yung and theo too maybe..
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : overloud
Are you confident : not at all
5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1) sleep
2) eat
3) go to primary school?
4) work in pasar malam
5) Being a kid:).
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1) Plastic Surgery XD
2) Do my own album
3) Buy a house and car
4) Donate to help out the poors one
5) Stay in japan forever
5 of my bad habits
1) Lazy
2) Easily addicted to things;P.
3) not good in handling human feelings
4) Leaving things till the last minute.
5) always bad in consulting ppl
5 places I am living in
1) Malaysia
2) PetalingJAya
3) Shah Alam,with Matthew
4) Japan
5) motoso-shi
ohh finalyl end -.-haha
5 people I tag
1.Kar mun
2.Yeang shin
3.Yui
4.Woon Jie
5.boon lye
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Tagged
1. The last person to tag you is?-
Yui
2. What relationship of you with him/her?-
Hmm..She is like my mother
3.Your first impression towards him/her?-
So shy and weird
4.The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you.-
went karaoke with someone singing can break the windows
lol,maybe a nicer one
she cut my hair :O
5. The most memorable word that he/she has say to you?-
Lets pray,Hairy Father.
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will..-
do my best to make her happy?
7.If he/she becomes your enemy, you will..-
dun give a damn anyway,just ignore.
8.If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on..-
nothing,she is nearly perfect :D
9.If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is..-
maybe because she lack of confident and i have to worry for her always
10.The most desirable things to do for he/she is?-
buy her a dress.
11.The overall impression to he/her is..-
she is awesome! she inspired me to speak japanese!
12.How do you think the people around you will feel about you?-
Cheerful
13.The character you like of yourself is?-
Dark
14.On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?-
Cheerful
15.The most ideal person you want to be is?-
Wakasa Tadataka :D
okay maybe
Teoh Wai Hoong?
16.For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.-
Good for you,stop annoying me.
17.Ten people to tag:
woahhh~ TEN people to tag?!?! even five was pretty difficult to find hahaha.
1) Kar Mun (give you a tag back :P)
2) Yeang Shin
3) Jia Yuan
4) Chen Lam
5) Tashairina!!
6) Sakura
7) Boon Lye
8) Vicki Low
9) Ee May
10) Nicole Low!
18.Who is number 2 having a relationship with?-
nobody?she seems to be single.
19.Is number 3 a female or male?-
Male.
20.If number 7 and 10 be together would it be a good thing?-
No way..Nicole will kill him.
21.How about number 5 and 8?-
wow,lesbian.
22.What is number 1 studying about?-
if i am not wrong,IMU,about pharmacy?
23.When was the last time you had a chat with them?-
only with yui recently,others is like..months ago...i miss u guys :3
24.Is number 4 a single?-
i dont know -.-
25.Talk something about 2.-
She is understanding,helped me out in many difficult situation,always by my side when i needed her,gives me good avices,guide me back to right path,i owe her a lot, i love her a lot too, hope she is doing well in US ,would like to meet her again one day.
Anyways, for this tag, those 10 people no need to do also can ok?
I just needed those names for the questions from 18~25 =)
Yui
2. What relationship of you with him/her?-
Hmm..She is like my mother
3.Your first impression towards him/her?-
So shy and weird
4.The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you.-
went karaoke with someone singing can break the windows
lol,maybe a nicer one
she cut my hair :O
5. The most memorable word that he/she has say to you?-
Lets pray,Hairy Father.
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will..-
do my best to make her happy?
7.If he/she becomes your enemy, you will..-
dun give a damn anyway,just ignore.
8.If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on..-
nothing,she is nearly perfect :D
9.If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is..-
maybe because she lack of confident and i have to worry for her always
10.The most desirable things to do for he/she is?-
buy her a dress.
11.The overall impression to he/her is..-
she is awesome! she inspired me to speak japanese!
12.How do you think the people around you will feel about you?-
Cheerful
13.The character you like of yourself is?-
Dark
14.On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?-
Cheerful
15.The most ideal person you want to be is?-
Wakasa Tadataka :D
okay maybe
Teoh Wai Hoong?
16.For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.-
Good for you,stop annoying me.
17.Ten people to tag:
woahhh~ TEN people to tag?!?! even five was pretty difficult to find hahaha.
1) Kar Mun (give you a tag back :P)
2) Yeang Shin
3) Jia Yuan
4) Chen Lam
5) Tashairina!!
6) Sakura
7) Boon Lye
8) Vicki Low
9) Ee May
10) Nicole Low!
18.Who is number 2 having a relationship with?-
nobody?she seems to be single.
19.Is number 3 a female or male?-
Male.
20.If number 7 and 10 be together would it be a good thing?-
No way..Nicole will kill him.
21.How about number 5 and 8?-
wow,lesbian.
22.What is number 1 studying about?-
if i am not wrong,IMU,about pharmacy?
23.When was the last time you had a chat with them?-
only with yui recently,others is like..months ago...i miss u guys :3
24.Is number 4 a single?-
i dont know -.-
25.Talk something about 2.-
She is understanding,helped me out in many difficult situation,always by my side when i needed her,gives me good avices,guide me back to right path,i owe her a lot, i love her a lot too, hope she is doing well in US ,would like to meet her again one day.
Anyways, for this tag, those 10 people no need to do also can ok?
I just needed those names for the questions from 18~25 =)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Tai Hen
something big occured yesterday.
As usual i went to kendo club at night, by time i reach home,it's already night 10 pm.
when i reach home,nobody'S home,grandmother is sitting on the chair,looking so worried.
when i opened the door,grandmother jumped up, mistaken me as my brothers, asking me : 'so how is everything!' grandmother looks so pale,weak today...
after listening to her,i realize that,something big had happened.
is my grandpa again, he never likes me because i have chinese blood,he had been to war,and he anti-chinese. i can't change the fact that i am a chinese,but i can do my best to respect him because he is older citizen.He always insulted me and my family,I had endured it all.
My mom used to tell me that everyone knows i am innocent, that the grandpa is a weird old man,he doesn't even like mom just because mom is a woman,for him,woman is junk.
Basically,what occur yesterday is, after i left..
grandpa started talking nonsense to mom
and mom got offended,and faught back with words
and grandpa insulted her so badly,that make her feel so lowly in this family
HOW DARE he do this to mom..
mom had worked so hard to support this family
mom even sacrificed most of her life in farm,eventhough she is not from a farming background,to satisfy grandpa,she is doing her best
she is a good mother,who do her job perfectly,cleaning,cooking,working, i have nothing more to say.
everyone in thsi family love her,she is not worthless, how dare that old fuck say this to her..
mom ran away from home yesterday, followed my grandpa (with car).
dad who is working,had to rush home early,and went on search for mom with 2 of my brothers,everything seems so upside down.
by time i reach home,nobody's home,but grandmother..
i was so worried,but grandmother says i can just sit there and watch TV
i were like : NO WAY,in such situation,where got mood to watch TV?
i dashed out,rode my bike ,and searched around my mom in the dark.
i can'T see clearly in the dark,but i looked around everywhere.
i met with my dad on the way of searching,they are shocked to see me.
i said i am doing nothing,but all of them knows i am searching for mom.
they gave up,its already very late,midnight.
mom is still not back yet.
back home,everyone got ready for bed,clean up,washed up.
suddenly the door opened,mom is back,we were so happy!
but her face,looks so sad,she says ; tadaima,shinpai kaketta gomen ne
i am back,sry for making u guys worried.
and she walk to her room,every step she took,looks so heavy...
she must be tired,she must be
HURT
even today morning, she looks like an empty corpse ,soulless...
gosh,is all ur fault, old fucking grandpa...
i.. hate you..
As usual i went to kendo club at night, by time i reach home,it's already night 10 pm.
when i reach home,nobody'S home,grandmother is sitting on the chair,looking so worried.
when i opened the door,grandmother jumped up, mistaken me as my brothers, asking me : 'so how is everything!' grandmother looks so pale,weak today...
after listening to her,i realize that,something big had happened.
is my grandpa again, he never likes me because i have chinese blood,he had been to war,and he anti-chinese. i can't change the fact that i am a chinese,but i can do my best to respect him because he is older citizen.He always insulted me and my family,I had endured it all.
My mom used to tell me that everyone knows i am innocent, that the grandpa is a weird old man,he doesn't even like mom just because mom is a woman,for him,woman is junk.
Basically,what occur yesterday is, after i left..
grandpa started talking nonsense to mom
and mom got offended,and faught back with words
and grandpa insulted her so badly,that make her feel so lowly in this family
HOW DARE he do this to mom..
mom had worked so hard to support this family
mom even sacrificed most of her life in farm,eventhough she is not from a farming background,to satisfy grandpa,she is doing her best
she is a good mother,who do her job perfectly,cleaning,cooking,working, i have nothing more to say.
everyone in thsi family love her,she is not worthless, how dare that old fuck say this to her..
mom ran away from home yesterday, followed my grandpa (with car).
dad who is working,had to rush home early,and went on search for mom with 2 of my brothers,everything seems so upside down.
by time i reach home,nobody's home,but grandmother..
i was so worried,but grandmother says i can just sit there and watch TV
i were like : NO WAY,in such situation,where got mood to watch TV?
i dashed out,rode my bike ,and searched around my mom in the dark.
i can'T see clearly in the dark,but i looked around everywhere.
i met with my dad on the way of searching,they are shocked to see me.
i said i am doing nothing,but all of them knows i am searching for mom.
they gave up,its already very late,midnight.
mom is still not back yet.
back home,everyone got ready for bed,clean up,washed up.
suddenly the door opened,mom is back,we were so happy!
but her face,looks so sad,she says ; tadaima,shinpai kaketta gomen ne
i am back,sry for making u guys worried.
and she walk to her room,every step she took,looks so heavy...
she must be tired,she must be
HURT
even today morning, she looks like an empty corpse ,soulless...
gosh,is all ur fault, old fucking grandpa...
i.. hate you..
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